I So Win

Of course, I kind of always win. I mean, I’m no Charlie Sheen, but I always win. This particular win, however, is especially impressive.

Not so long ago, I wrote here about how it is impossible to buy my mother gifts that she doesn’t either pick out herself, or just return whenever you look away.

Well insert some clichéd motivational speaker nonsense about achieving the impossible here, because FINALLY, after years of failed and misguided attempts, I’ve DONE IT!   All by myself, I've come up with a Monica-proof present that she didn't know she was getting, and that she won’t (read: can’t) return!

Clearly, I have the powers of some type of witchcraft.

Ok, I had some outside assistance, and my sisters chipped in their part. But I am the mastermind behind it all.  I am the gift-engineering puppetmaster.

Instead of getting her wine, something for the house, wine, something to wear, something for the yard, or more wine, we created an event for her. On May 15th, mom and her BFF Debbie will be going to see Mamma Mia! at the Sarofim Hall in Houston. Lunch (and, more importantly, a creamy, cheesy dessert) at the Cheesecake Factory is on us as well, via a gift card. We even included cash to valet park at the Hobby Center, and to tip the valet on the way out. I’m very thorough. So mom gets some grown-up time on a day in the city, complete with dinner and a show.

My mom is an exceptional woman. I would totally suck as a human being without her. My powers of wit and witchcraft derive directly from her years of zooming about on her own broom.  She’s been through things I can’t even imagine, and manages to still be a great mom, and a real blasty blast to boot. I will never be able to show her how much I truly appreciate her and what she does, and will never be able to find a birthday present magnificent enough to show my gratitude. 

The best I can do is give her a day away from her damn kids.

Sarcasmo