Things That Make Me Crazy - Part 2

Today, after my Regulation of Toxic Substances class ended at 1:15, I overheard bits and pieces of a conversation next to me as we all packed up to go. Someone asked the girl seated next to me if she wanted to go get lunch and she replied – I swear to Jesus – that she’d had some yogurt this morning before she went for her run at 8, so she wasn’t really hungry.

Dante didn’t create a level of hell deep enough for this girl.

She didn’t sit in the chair next to me, so much as she was perched, as she was wee and birdlike. I wanted to take her and shake her and yell that food is OK, but I was afraid I’d shake her little peanut head right off her Barbie-sized shoulders. I considered tripping her as she floated by, but again, I was afraid of breaking the glorified chopsticks she had the audacity to be walking around on like they were legitimate human legs. Chopsticks, mind you, that were clothed in leggings that had to have come from Gap Kids, as they don’t make that size for any self-respecting adults.

Look, I get it. Being overweight is something some people fear. I respect her for not wanting to be viewed as a storage unit for excess calories. But that’s just not human. It can’t be normal. What could cheeseburgers have possibly done to her for her to scorn them so? It’s possible to be healthy and still have something between your skin and skeleton.

And you know what, I’ll be honest. Part of me was a little crazy because of her desire to consume food in amounts doled out at internment camps, and because in light of her appearance, it seemed obsessive, unhealthy and unnecessary. And part of me was a little crazy because I, as a person who has struggled with weight issues for all of my adult life, can’t imagine reaching a point where I am so proficient in my willpower that a sad little cup of Yoplait can sustain me throughout a day to a point that I will gladly turn down an opportunity at another meal.

Sarcasmo

Currently Excited About: THE STEELERS IN THE SUPERBOWL!! I’m glad that I had the presence of mind several years ago to realize that as a Dallas Cowboys fan, I would need a post-season backup, and that I chose Pittsburgh. Dallas needs to step it up next season though – I rather liked that they were the team with the most Superbowl appearances, and the win yesterday means the Steelers have tied them with 8.